Another Reflection...

Each of us continue to reminisce, pray and process all that transpired this past week. Here is another reflection…

"The car ride from Village of Hope to the airport was quiet. A few parting questions and a bit of laughter, but blank for the most part. A partial mix of still waking up and being at a loss for words, I suppose. I always thought car rides felt longer with the absence of conversation, so I was content in the silence. I felt like my words were minutes, so the more time I spent on speaking the less time I’d have left in Guatemala. At the airport we said goodbye to the brothers-in-Christ we had come to love in the same way we arrived, as a family ready for whatever God had in-store for us. Upon our arrival, our smaller team of nine (one member having taken an earlier flight home and three flying back to the east coast) exchanged hugs, kind words, and valedictions. And just like that, we were home…

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. once said, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it’s old dimensions.” After coming home from a week spent at Village of Hope, I’m learning just how precise of an assessment this is.

Full disclosure, I was scared to come home. I was scared of what I was going to feel, once I left what had quickly become my new comfort zone. I knew I was coming back to a place of abundance, prosperity, and personally speaking, belonging. But, as Holmes so accurately observed, I would be coming back with “a mind [stretched] by a new experience.” How should I interpret the world I grew up in through the lens of the world I just left? How could I pick up where I left off after having just put on a newfound burden? Most of all, how would I maintain a tight grip on what I now hold dear without letting the normality of life slowly pry my hands loose? I am frightened at the thought my heart having been broken for what breaks God’s, then having it be passively put back together by the hands of everyday spoils and common conversations. On the other hand, I want to humbly enjoy God’s blessings. I want to taste and see and take pleasure in the community around me. I want to live and laugh and love with those around me without it feeling like a guilty pleasure. I suppose the more common phrase of wanting to be “in the world, but not of it,” most accurately depicts where my mind is right now. I’m sure I’ll have a lot of wrestling to do over the next few days, probably weeks. But I’m thankful for the light of God’s Word to brighten this dimly lit world and the stories of His Body that testify to God’s faithfulness through the struggle.  

It’s been said that, “home is where the heart is,” and I’ve always adhered to that definition. But this assessment of where home is has now been blurred by the families at Village of Hope and every child who has yet to find their “heart.” My heart is with Christ and Christ’s heart is with the fatherless, so it only stands to reason that my heart be given over to the orphans of this world (James 1.27). I don’t quite know what that looks like, but I know it starts with understanding that we were all adopted by our Heavenly Father. 

There is still some processing I have to do - Where do we go from here? What do I do with the brokenness I’ve been introduced to? How do I use my voice for those whom “the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to?” (Matt. 19.14) As with most of the answers I’ve been given this past week, I don’t know. I am grateful, however, that God has now given me a heart and mind to ask these urgent, faithful questions. I’m even more grateful that God in His great majesty, will answer these questions as only a perfect, loving, heavenly Father can.”

I am grateful for each team member who has openly shared their hearts with you. More posts to come… ~C